Wondering if you're breaking the law while gaining the attention of that special someone whose caught your eye? Did you even think you might be breaking the law while dating? Why yes, dear reader, the laws and rules regarding romance abound! As many stupid laws as there are still on the books, here are several found in places all over about love and relationships, flirting, and other, "a-hem" more intimate pursuits in the quest for love.

In the interest of being good law abiding citizens, and respect for the laws of the land, we present to you a few of our favorites from the books.

It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits in Mobile Alabama.

Women may not wear a 'lewd dress' in public. (Is that a color?)

It's also illegal in Alabama for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."

Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock Arkansas may result in a 30-day jail term.

In Colorado keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited. (Who needs a clean house anyway?)

It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.

Nor is it legal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep. (Well, arrest Prince Charming!)

In Connecticut it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

No "private sexual behavior between consentual adults" (does this mean it's okay if it is public?)

While in Delaware alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time. (I've known people who can't dance drunk or sober)

Meanwhile, if you're on the beach for a romantic evening, be sure not to lay down as one may not lay down on the beach at night.

For those in Florida a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. (I guess that date to go skydiving is out.)

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (Why not? Are you jealous?)

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. While this law may seem stupid, in the past several years there have been actual cases due to officers being called onto a scene and catching the perpetrators "in the act"!!

It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Conserve water and do your laundry at the same time.)

Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor. (None of those droll long walks along the beach!)

Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing". (What about the guys?)

In Idaho if a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sexual activity, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. (How very polite of them!)

In Illinois a man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

A man's female companion shall call him "master" while out on a date. The law does not apply to married couples. (Let's not go there..... ;) )

All bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. (Excuse me?)

It's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. (Where do you think all the stories of "the one that got away" came from?)

Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar in Indiana. (I guess an Italian dinner before the show is out)

Men in Iowa with moustaches may never kiss a woman in public.

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

If you are in Kansas one can be sent to jail for up to a year for making lewd comments over the telephone. (What about heavy breathing?)

When your lover spends the night in Michigan, be sure you have all your bedroom windows locked if they snore. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.( Now you know why the off duty sign is flashing. *S*)

A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.

Two people may not kiss in front of a church.

No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.

Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

No man is allowed to have relations with his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
It is also illegal to sleep naked.

In the state of Mississippi adultery or fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone you are not married to) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.

A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

It is unlawful for anyone to have sex in public. (What about two people?)

Ladies, put away those corsets in Missouri! Women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." (Let it all hang out honey!)

In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone. (Works for me, the webmistress happens to enjoy fishing and it's always nice to have someone to talk to if they're not biting! The fish, not my partner!)

Nebraska hotel owners are required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have "relations" unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

Nevada men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women. (What is this issue about moustaches? Personally I prefer one on my man)

Cross-dressing is illegal in New Jersey, and no one may annoy someone of the opposite sex. (Yes, it;s always annoying when a guy looks better than me in a dress!)

Avoid satisfying lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while you are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. (Get in the back seat like the taxi drivers!)

In New Mexico It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.

Idiots may not vote. (I guess that's why so many run for office)

It's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. (Gives new meaning to the words "take out" and "delivery".)

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting in New York. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a walk. (Well if he doesn't look at someone attractive, he's dead! Who wants a dead man?)

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town. (What happened to equal rights?)

If one wishes to bathe in the city limits, they must be clothed in a "suitable bathing suit". (Does your "birthday suit" count?)

Not ready for mariage? Use your own names in North Carolina. If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.

All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.

Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public in Ohio, lest men see reflections of their underwear.

No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person. (How do you know if you don't ask?)

Cross-dressing is against the law. (Why? Is it considered false advertising or something?)

It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

While in Oklahoma, it is illegal to cause "annoying vibrations" in the city limits. (okay, so only make good vibrations)

Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel. (There went strip poker as a fun idea.)

It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date if you are in Tennessee. (Does that include Leap Year and Sadie Hawkins day?)

Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (The red flag makes it easier to see which one is him.)

Limit your accessories in Texas, up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six "adult novelty products".

It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands. (No comment)

Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary in Utah. (Who can tell with the lights off?)

If one is not married, it is illegal for that person to have sexual relations.

It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. (Yes guys that means YOU sleep on the couch!)

A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.

Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.

West Virginia if an Unmarried couple who live together and "lewdly associate" with one another, you may face up to a year in prison.

Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.(Is this legal prostitution if you pay the court the fine?)

Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse. (Does this include whistling at men for women firefighters?)

And finally in Wisconsin, if one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day. (Who determines offensive looking is what I want to know!)

Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man. (Can we walk down a private street then?)